Struggling to be unapologetically me

There is no question I am blessed. While my blessings have no doubt come with loss andpexels-photo-568027-1170x781 hard work, I am fortunate nonetheless. However, I have a lot of guilt.

I struggle with this guilt, internally, every day. I feel guilty for being able to have my own business and work from home. I feel guilty for not doing enough for my clients, despite their praise and happiness with my work. I feel guilty for my flexibility in my schedule every day that allows me to really focus on my health and fitness. I feel guilty for wanting to start a family and never feeling like it is the right time. I feel guilty for my husband considering going back to work, while I continue working from home. I feel guilty for not dedicating more of my time to family or the community.

All this guilt weighs me down. It consumes me. These thoughts swirl through my mind every time I make a decision or do something that brings me joy. Life is supposed to be hard, and as a small business owner, I should be working 15 hour days right? That is what I keep telling myself, but it is not my reality.

My reality is that life is really good. Life is giving me exactly what I need, and there is no reason for me to feel guilty about that. The reality is that we are not defined by the circumstances of others. We are defined by the life we are given and how we choose to live it. It is no one else’s business how you spend your time. You owe no explanation to anyone.

Being unapologetically me means no guilt. It means living in a way that makes me happy, not by anyone else’s standards, just my own. Being unapologetic does not mean I can’t be empathetic, it just means that I do not have to carry the guilt of others situations or circumstances just because it does not match mine.

So, the guilt stops here. I choose to embrace where I am and be thankful for my current situation. I will unapologetically live this life to the fullest and leave the guilt behind because blessings should never be worried away. 

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