Words I’ve Been Trying to Say

I have tried to put into words how much I want people expecting a child or who have b30c1577e747310fcace3d69b3944c4bchildren not to tiptoe around me due to my struggles with infertility. I have tried to explain that my pain is mine, and I am truly happy for them. However, I know it has not come out just how I would like.

As I was reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown today, I was struck by her thoughts around gratitude. In the book, Brene talks about how important it is to be grateful for what you have and how this is one of the ways to practice gratitude and move toward vulnerability. She says, “Don’t shrink away from the joy of your child because I’ve lost mine. Don’t take what you have for granted- celebrate it. Don’t apologize for what you have. Be grateful for it and share your gratitude with others… When you honor what you have, you’re honoring what I’ve lost.”

While I am thankful to have not had any miscarriages, I can still relate to the statement within my fertility journey. I have had people ask me about what is appropriate for them to share or hope that I don’t feel as if they are rubbing their happiness in my face. My response is always no and that I would never want them to avoid talking to me about it. So, from now on, I will say thank you for sharing and let them know that I wish for them not to shrink away from their joy and happiness because of my struggles. I will tell them that by being vulnerable and comfortable enough with me to share their gratitude, I will feel more honored and less alone.



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